Waiting for the four of them to calm down, the group set off for the restaurant.
Along the way, the youngest girl grabbed Tang Xiaoyu and started asking questions left and right.
From the initial "who are you" to the current "Brother Xiaoyu", she got Tang Xiaoyu wanting to change his name.
"Brother Xiaoyu, what is your dream?"
Tang Xiaoyu was at a loss for words. Fortunately, Lu Changchun jumped in and said, "Him? Marry a wife and have a bunch of kids."
"No way! That's it?"
Tang Xiaoyu said solemnly, "Simple? It looks very difficult to me. Right now I've got nothing, just this pathetic life barely surviving in this dog-eat-dog world."
"Not daring to offend the rich and powerful, not even the local ruffians, let alone you cultivators who see ordinary people as ants."
"Just to fill my stomach, I lower my head and lick boots, stomping on my dignity singing for others. You tell me what is a dream?"
The girl apologized, "I'm sorry!"
Tang Xiaoyu casually said, "Nothing to be sorry about, this is my fate, without the guts to challenge fate. Just living these few decades peacefully will do."
The girl thought for a bit and asked, "Brother Xiaoyu, what if you could cultivate, what would you do?"
"What if? There are no what-ifs in this world."
"Just hypothetically, tell me!"
"Anyway I don't want to cultivate now. When I'm old perhaps I would choose to cultivate, after all one's thinking changes over time."
The girl switched direction and asked, "Then what kind of girl do you want to marry?"
"Of medium build, average looking is fine. Most important is a good personality, no other requirements."
The girl pointed at herself, "How about someone like me?"
"You? Not exceptionally beautiful, but still quite attractive. Slender figure, lively and cheerful personality." Tang Xiaoyu evaluated objectively.
"Haven't you thought about marrying someone like me?"
Tang Xiaoyu quickly shook his head, "Never thought about it, don't want to."
The girl curiously asked, "Why?"
"My mother said, the more beautiful the woman, the more she cheats."
Everyone face-palmed. The girl stubbornly said, "Your mother must be lying to you."
Tang Xiaoyu nodded, "You're right, no wonder my mother is so beautiful."
Everyone was speechless.
"Other than this reason, you'd marry someone like me right!"
Tang Xiaoyu shook his head again, "No. Because your chest and butt aren't big enough, can't give birth to boys, or feed the kids."
The girl gritted her teeth and continued asking, "Apart from these two reasons?"
"Still no. The more beautiful the woman, the more trouble she brings. I don't want to end up like your martial brothers, getting beaten, or even losing my life."
The two martial brothers: (╯‵□′)╯(┻━┻
Other than Lu Changchun, no one wanted to keep talking to him.
They arrived at a decent restaurant and ordered a private room.
"Brother Tang, Brother Lu, don't be shy, order whatever you like."
Would Tang Xiaoyu be shy? Definitely not. Would Lu Changchun be shy? In the past maybe a little, but now he didn't know what shy meant.
To better blend in as an ordinary person, Lu Changchun had sealed his cultivation. Now if he didn't eat he would be starving badly.
Picking up the menu, Tang Xiaoyu said to the waiter, "One lamb leg, two pounds of beef, two pork hocks, a plate of peanuts, one red braised fish, and a jar of wine."
Lu Changchun followed up, "Two roasted ducks, a stewed chicken, and two random vegetable dishes."
"Coming up sirs! Please wait a moment, food and drinks coming right up."
Tang Xiaoyu quickly called out, "Bring the peanuts and wine first."
"Yes sir!"
Tang Xiaoyu said to the others, "Sorry for the uncultured eating and drinking, hope I didn't embarrass you."
"Brother Tang and Brother Lu are real men."
The food and drinks came very quickly. Everyone watched dumbfounded at Tang Xiaoyu and Lu Changchun wolfing it all down.
"Brother Tang, could you tell us how that useless nobody became so powerful?"
Tang Xiaoyu casually wiped his mouth and burped, "Since you're treating me to this meal, I'll oblige and tell you!"
"This man, is either the reincarnation of a powerful ancient cultivator, or has an old master following him around."
"Let's talk about reincarnation first. There are two types, rebirth into a womb, or into a corpse. If he's a reincarnated powerhouse, it's the latter."
"Sounds good saying reincarnation, not so good saying usurpation."
"Speaking of the old master, it's an unrivalled powerhouse who fused his soul into some object, and this object is carried around by someone every day."
"This object keeps absorbing the wearer's spiritual energy. Naturally the wearer's cultivation would be hindered."
"Once discovered, the powerhouse in the object will reach an agreement with the wearer."
"These people usually have decent aptitude. With the powerhouse's help, you can imagine the results."
"I don't really understand cultivation, but that's the gist of it."
Everyone listened dumbstruck. You say you don't understand cultivation, but you know more than us!
The senior brother swallowed and asked, "So how do we deal with someone like this?"
Tang Xiaoyu rolled his eyes, "Still deal with him? Aren't you tired of playing disposable side characters purely for the main character's face slapping?"
"Brother Xiaoyu, what do you mean?"
"Meaning he's the protagonist, the child of destiny, protected by heaven. Seeking vengeance is seeking death."
"Ah! Brother Xiaoyu, then what should we do? Befriend him?"
Tang Xiaoyu wagged his finger, "No, no, no. People around the main character rarely meet good endings. What you should do is keep your distance, don't provoke him or give him excuses to find you trouble. Naturally the main character won't be able to show off, and fewer women would throw themselves at him."
"Brother Xiaoyu, what are no and show off?"
Tang Xiaoyu helplessly explained, "No means not or no. Show off means flaunting."
The girl nodded, "Oh I see! I should start using these words too, feels so stylish."
(╯‵□′)╯(┻━┻
The few stood up and bowed, "Thank Brother Tang for today's insights, great kindness need not be spoken. If you need help somewhere, let us know."
Tang Xiaoyu signaled Lu Changchun to get ready to leave, then bowed with hands clasped, "One more friend, one more path. More friends, easier travels. If you don't mind, let's be friends."
The senior brother said, "Aren't we already friends?"
"Haha, I'm just being dramatic."
Tang Xiaoyu and Lu Changchun bowed, "All banquets must disband, farewell for now."
"Brother Tang, how can I find you?"
"We'll be staying in White Tiger City, shouldn't be hard for you to find us. Goodbye."
"Goodbye."
After waving the few goodbye, ready to leave.
The girl spoke up, "Brother Xiaoyu, my name is Wang Ziyan."
Tang Xiaoyu tilted his head, the gentle breeze blowing his messy hair. His unshaven stubble coupled with those melancholy eyes made him look so lonely.
He murmured, "A lone shadow on the cold river, an old friend from the jianghu. Why bother recognizing each other when we meet?"
Turning his head, Tang Xiaoyu sighed in relief. [This line should have maxed out my coolness! What does it even mean? Whatever, who cares.]
Tang Xiaoyu and Lu Changchun swiftly departed. Lu Changchun asked, "Done pretending? Where do we sleep tonight?"
Tang Xiaoyu said bitterly, "Under the bridge I guess!"
Seeing Tang Xiaoyu leave, Wang Ziyan's eyes filled with admiration, "So cool! Gotta remember this line, keep it for when I want to show off. Oops, I mean when I want to... you know..."
The senior brother walked to Wang Ziyan's side, "Stop looking, he's gone far already."
"I know! I was just thinking about Brother Xiaoyu's words, how to apply them when I get back to show off. I mean use them."
The senior brother face-palmed. So that's what you were thinking! And here I thought... never mind.
ut it can buy an entire year of absolutely perfect training results! Su Yu stared at his empty wallet and decisively opened up various online loan platforms. “Borrow a thousand bucks! Recharge my vitality!” Boom! His vitality broke a hundred points, shattering the limits of the human body! “Borrow ten thousand bucks! Recharge my combat skills!” Boom! A basic punching technique so common it was everywhere instantly maxed out, revealing the ultimate assassination technique of Five Elements Unity—Inner Force! When a rich kid hired assassins for a midnight ambush, aiming to break both of his legs, they instead ran headfirst into a monster—a human-shaped tyrannosaur, brimming with dragon-like vitality. With just two fingers, Su Yu snapped a steel staff reinforced with alloy. Staring at the killer’s stash of stolen cash—a staggering quarter-million dollars—he showed a corporate-sincere smile: “Thanks for the pre-exam gift pack, Mr. Zhao! I’m gonna go re-invest this!” Three days later, at the National Martial Arts College Entrance Exam, while everyone else struggled just to reach the passing line, Su Yu threw a single punch—and more than a thousand vitality points literally detonated the entire arena!
ver to a world of cultivation and returned invincible. Modern medicine is child's play compared to elixirs; technological might crumbles before true cultivation. My name is Qin Ning, Earth's sole cultivator!
. As long as he maintains the villain image and follows the plot to the grand finale, he can obtain generous rewards and return to the real world. So Gu Chen'an entered the role and began to act as a scumbag villain, but who would have expected that the female leads could hear his inner thoughts. Miss Su from the Su family was shocked: "I originally thought Gu Chen'an was a scumbag, but I didn't expect he turned out to be a gentleman! What? You said I have to call off the engagement? I definitely won't, I'll piss you off!" Bai Yuan Tian was dumbfounded: "Young Master Gu is usually unreasonable and a complete brat, but he actually calls me little sweetie in his heart? What, Young Master Gu even said he likes me?" As the female leads' images collapsed more and more, the plot also collapsed with it. Gu Chen'an looked at all this chaos. "Ladies, don't aggro me, if you keep this up the male lead really will stab me, I still need to survive to the grand finale!"
e bizarre and supernatural had descended. The previous emperor was a thoroughgoing tyrant; no longer satisfied with human women, he had set his sights on a stunningly beautiful supernatural entity. He met his end in his bedchamber, drained of all his vital essence. As the legitimate eldest son and crown prince, Wang Hao was thus hastily enthroned, becoming the young emperor of the Great Zhou Dynasty. No sooner had he awakened the "Imperial Sign-In Intelligence System" than he was assassinated by a Son of Destiny—a classic villain's opening. The Great Zhou, ravaged by the former emperor's excesses, was in national decline. The great families within its borders harbored their own treacherous schemes, martial sects began to defy the imperial court's decrees, and border armies, their pay and provisions in arrears, grumbled incessantly against the central government. Fortunately, the central capital was still held secure by the half-million Imperial Guards and fifty thousand Imperial Forest Army who obeyed the court's orders, along with the royal family's hidden reserves of power, barely managing to suppress the realm. As the Great Zhou's finances worsened and supernatural activities grew ever more frequent, the court sat atop a volcano. Ambitious plotters everywhere dreamed of overthrowing the dynasty, and even some reclusive ancient powers emerged, attempting to sway the tides of the world. At the first grand court assembly, the civil and military officials nearly came to blows, fighting tooth and nail over the allocation of fifty million taels of silver from the summer tax revenues. The spectacle opened Wang Hao's eyes—the Great Zhou's bureaucracy was not only corrupt but also martially proficient, a cabinet of all-rounders. Some officials even had the audacity to suggest the emperor release funds from the imperial privy purse to address the emergency. Wang Hao suddenly felt weary. Let it all burn.
