This Time, I want to be a Sheep.

Ambition is like a towering tree, yet sighs arise as autumn days grow sparse.

Ten years of diligent study, a dreamer entranced, only to abandon the pen, burn the books, and return to the hometown road.

Amidst a downpour, outside the old city, stands a dilapidated temple platform.

Upon discovering the truth, the scholar inscribed his wishes on the wall, within a temple warmed by a heap of flames, matches once treasured as dearly as books.

Only now does he realize, those books... amounted to nothing but hot air.

Enough of that.

Time to go home.

In these years spent in the brothel, he managed to save up some coin, hopefully enough to return home as long as he doesn't get robbed again like last time.

Yet one thing troubles him greatly.

What about the promise I made to her?

At this moment, Lu Qingming is overwhelmed with fear, an intense dread of encountering Bai Fang again.

It is precisely because of his deep love that he fears disappointing her.

But what can he do?

This is fate.

One cannot defy their own destiny.

If you're not born with it, then you're not, just like the sheep on the grassland, born a sheep, forever a sheep.

Simultaneously, a haughty voice resounds in his ear:

"What's this? Our esteemed Lu, finally accepting his fate? I've always said you, a waste like you, can't accomplish anything."

Lu Qingming feels a headache coming on, for this voice has plagued him for three years now.

This voice, he doesn't know when it started appearing, perhaps when he was being beaten by those thugs on the street, or maybe when he was being trampled by some patron in the brothel over some trivial matter.

In any case, unconsciously, this voice became a part of him, as if there was another person inside his body.

"Huh, how come someone's writing poetry in a place like this?"

A woman appears in the broken temple, though her clothes are damp, indicating she sought refuge from the rain.

Clad in silk, clearly from a wealthy family.

Lu Qingming glances at the woman's exquisite appearance but pays her no further attention, engrossed in tending the fire.

However, the woman seems to take an interest in Lu Qingming; she asks, "The ink on the poem isn't dry yet, surely it's your doing."

Lu Qingming can't be bothered to speak.

The woman then goes to inspect the poem on the wall, commenting as she reads, "Towering tree? Is there a tree in this world that can reach the sky? Seems like you have lofty aspirations."

"Autumn days? Hmm... are you referring to the current state of affairs?"

Lu Qingming can hear the woman's voice clearly, thinking to himself: She's not an ordinary rich girl; she understands poetry and seems somewhat scholarly.

Yet Lu Qingming still lacks the inclination to converse and continues to ignore her.

Turning back, the woman remarks, "Homeward bound, are you? Not because your scholarly pursuits fell short, and you couldn't pass the exams?"

Expecting a response from the slight sarcasm, the woman is surprised to find that this obviously impoverished scholar remains indifferent.

But before she could grow annoyed, she hastily adds, "Oh! Are you really burning books? You're giving up on reading? Huh... but isn't this a military text? A scholar like you reads military texts?"

The woman is first shocked, then intrigued upon spotting remnants of a military text amidst the fire.

Yet Lu Qingming remains silent.

The girl pouted, picking up Lu Qingming's luggage. However, Lu Qingming knew that this wealthy girl couldn't possibly be interested in his belongings, so he didn't object.

The girl seemed to have never seen someone like him, acting like a mute.

Speaking of which, could he really be a mute?

Later, the girl sat across from Lu Qingming, flipping through his package. Originally intending to tease this arrogant scholar, she unexpectedly found some articles that Lu Qingming hadn't had a chance to burn yet.

All of them were written by Lu Qingming before.

After reading a few pages, the girl couldn't resist the urge to continue. She read while saying, "You, scholar, seem to have some talent... Well... no, you're very talented!"

Having endured the girl's chatter for a long time, Lu Qingming thought, how could this frivolous girl appreciate his governance strategies? He couldn't help but lift his head, only to find the girl looking back at him.

Their eyes met.

The girl said, "Hey, poor scholar, has anyone ever told you that you're handsome?"

This time, Lu Qingming truly frowned.

How could there be such a frivolous girl!

...

...

On the night of their marriage, Lu Qingming had a dream.

In the dream, the voice that had entangled him for three years suddenly appeared, now in human form.

It was a person who looked exactly like him, except...

That person wore black clothes, while he wore white.

That person had a jade on his right hand, while he had it on his left.

That person exuded an arrogant aura, as if full of self-confidence.

That person said, "From today, I have a name."

Lu Qingming asked, "What name?"

That person smiled mysteriously and said, "Of course, it's the name Song Yanshi used to humiliate me—Lu Gaosheng."

Lu Gaosheng!

That person walked slowly towards Lu Qingming, then grabbed his neck, saying, "This name may be a bit blunt, but the omen is good—rising higher and higher, step by step."

Yes!

From now on, I will rise step by step!

In this world, no one will beat me in the street, and no one will trample me underfoot!

They owe me, and I will take it all back without a single penny left.

I am Lu Gaosheng.

Lu Qingming died, died in his dream.

While Lu Gaosheng smiled faintly, released the corpse, and then raised his hand, looking at the white jade ring on his right hand.

Even in reality, no matter how difficult life was, he never thought of selling this ring.

Now, even in his dreams, he still carried this ring with him.

He gently, incredibly tenderly kissed the ring and said softly:

"I will reclaim everything they owe me."

"I will kill Song Yanshi and fulfill my promise to you."

"I will definitely, definitely come back to you."

"What Lu Qingming couldn't do, I, Lu Gaosheng, can."

How does one defeat a demon?

Very simple.

Become a demon yourself.

In the dream, Lu Gaosheng strangled Lu Qingming, and in the six years that followed, Lu Gaosheng indeed rose higher and higher.

The blackguards who once bullied him, the debauchees who trampled him underfoot, the prostitutes who humiliated him, the wealthy young masters who swapped his exam papers—people of such ilk... He eventually hunted down each and every one of them, and with the utmost cruelty, tortured them to death.

······

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What a strange world it is.

Though we all have two shoulders to bear one head, society insists on dividing us into three, six, or nine ranks. Those at the very top even like to feign virtue by leaving behind a clearly marked path to success, offering you just a glimmer of hope.

But is this path fair?

No, fairness becomes irrelevant when the path is handed to you by them, because the power to grade your papers is never in your own hands.

Fairness? Is your writing good enough?

It's the graders who have the final say, and when they are fair, the world becomes fair; when they are unfair, then of course, it's unfair.

You may have the ability to perceive fairness in this world.

But sorry, you don't have the power to decide what's fair.

The ones who determine the rules of the game are the ones wielding the knives.

The story of sheep and wolves repeats itself in every corner of the world, every day and night.

If you had the chance to choose, would you want to be a sheep or a wolf?

I've answered this question a thousand times.

And each time, I choose to be a wolf.

To be one of the few, standing at the top!

To roam the prairie freely, greedily devouring every bite of flesh, constantly growing stronger.

Because in the world of wolves, there are distinctions of class, between the lackeys of the pack and the ruler of the prairie—the Wolf King!

It's an immensely greedy path, either reaching the summit or regressing back into a sheep.

There's absolutely no third option.

I know.

I was once a sheep.

But ultimately, I made my choice.

I shed my white fur, shattered all my teeth meant for grazing grass.

And then, I put on a new coat of gray, donned the teeth of a predator, and took a bite out of the other sheep!

The first taste of flesh, nauseating, uncomfortable.

The second, bland, mild.

The third, surprisingly sweet.

Because once you get used to anything, it no longer disgusts you, no longer feels uncomfortable.

Even though those sheep might be just like I once was, I have changed, and devouring those former companions will only make me stronger!

My choice was not wrong!

In this cruel world, one must live cruelly.

But when I learned she was dying.

I couldn't help but wonder, how did she live all these years?

I don't know why, but I regretted it.

The reason eludes me.

But I am unstoppable in my regret.

Perhaps the human world is ultimately not like the world of the prairie. Though, like beasts, ninety-nine percent of human nature is despicably ugly, the remaining one percent can sometimes be incredibly beautiful.

The one thousand and first time the question is raised, it begins here.

Do you want to be a wolf, or a sheep?

This time.

I think I want to be a sheep.

······

······

This dream about Lu Gaosheng has lasted too long, six years too long.

It's time to wake up.

As if emerging from a profound, distant dream, Lu Qingming slowly awakens amidst the wreckage.

This time, how long will he stay awake?

Will Lu Gaosheng come back once more?

Lu Qingming didn't know much about his name, but he knew one thing: there was still a major task at hand, one he had to complete before Lu Gaosheng returned.

Lu Qingming murmured, "Tang Li and Baijun Marquis underestimate Song Yanshi. This tactic can only deceive Song Yanshi once."

A small diversion, coupled with two thousand armored guards and Xu Guo.

Lu Qingming could imagine Tang Li's plan: to swiftly pass through Tian Ge Prefecture using diversionary tactics, enter the flat Northern Land where it's difficult to set up ambushes in the plains everywhere. Then, they could switch to swift horses to pull the grain carts and rush day and night to deliver the provisions to Hanwu Commandery.

This plan wasn't entirely wrong.

But they underestimated Song Yanshi.

However, there was also a strange aspect to the whole affair.

Baijun Marquis made a move, but not a thorough one.

With the influence of the Bai clan over the Three Great Underworld Gangs, since he sided with Tang Li, he should have been able to dispatch one or two underworld grandmasters. Yet, from start to finish, there had been no sight of these grandmasters.

Ultimately, Lu Gaosheng and Lu Qingming were the same person, possessing the same knowledge. Lu Qingming quickly thought of many things.

Switching the white jade cloud-patterned ring from his right hand to his left, Lu Qingming continued to ponder:

Underestimating Song Yanshi is a mistake. If the provisions disappear, with his intellect and power, he would likely guess or find out about my involvement—it's only a matter of time.

Leaving the provisions at Tian Ruo Prefecture is ultimately a risk.

Although Xu Guo is dead, there's still another person in Tian Ruo Prefecture who has also reached the Small Heaven Rank—Liu Hu!

It must be moved immediately.

Lu Qingming tidied up the surroundings and then sat quietly in the room, waiting for Li Xing to return.

He couldn't easily trust anyone at the moment; everything had to be done personally.

As noon approached, footsteps sounded from outside.

Li Xing and Kill Wolf hurriedly entered.

They had initially been somewhat anxious, but upon seeing the wreckage in the garden on their way, they were suddenly alarmed, fearing that the person who had even killed Xu Guo, Zhang San, had returned. Thus, their expressions were anxious.

"Don't panic, I'm here."

Lu Qingming smiled faintly, calm and composed.

Kill Wolf didn't pay much attention.

Instead, Li Xing frowned, vaguely feeling: the adult seemed quite similar to that morning...

"What's the matter? And Kill Wolf, why did you suddenly return?"

Kill Wolf knelt down on one knee and said bluntly, "Sir, we seem to have been targeted! When I returned for safety, I took a side path, but unexpectedly saw a black-clad figure resembling Liu Hu leading a team towards Tian Ruo City!"

What!? Lu Qingming was shocked.

This couldn't be happening.

How could Song Yanshi's response be so quick?!